Twas the Night Before Christmas – Barcode Edition
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the store,
not a barcode was stirring, across the whole retail floor.
The pricetags were hung by the shelves with care,
in hopes that the consumer soon would be there.
The management was nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of profit margins danced in their heads.
And cashiers in their ‘kerchiefs, and customers in their caps,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the loading dock there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the office to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tearing open the product cases to bring in the cash.
The fluorescent lights on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of discounts to the products below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a bus full of shoppers, with mugs full of beer.
One found a little old frying pan, a deal ripe and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be nonstick,
More rapid than eagles the shoppers they came,
They filled up their baskets, with reluctance overcame!
“Now Consumers! now, Shoppers! now, Customers and Patrons!
On, Locals! On, Tourists! on Skeptics and Matrons!
To the top of the grocery aisle! to the top of the sales wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As dry leaves that blow before the wild sales fly,
When they meet with a consumers, mount to the sky.
So up to the checkout counter the shoppers they flew,
With the cart full of toys, and and some Swiss chocolate too.
And then, in a twinkling, transaction times slowed
So I appealed to the glory of the almighty barcode,
I took out my scanner app, and was turning around,
Down the conveyer belt products came with a bound.
One toy had fur, from his head to his foot,
And the clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
I scanned up the toys he had flung in his cart,
And sent him home for the holidays, with gifts this mart.